CLUB MEMBERS FORM NEW BAND

Following the huge success of their dabute live performance on Saturday evening at the legendary Union Inn, home to the stars, the newly formed band "mudcluggers" gave an intimate crowd of adoring fans a one-off performance of their version of "Dead or Alive" a tribute to Bon Jovi.

During the build up to the main event, the crowd who had travelled from all over Stratton and Bude were entertained by some up and coming stars to look out for! Singing "I'm too sexy" was Mr C. stealing the limelight for a while, shaking his stuff and wooing the audience. There were various duets, most of them included the now legendary gardener....legendary for his out of tune singing and inability to remember the lyrics!!

So, it was time for the main show..... their chance to silence the critics who had said "they can't do it live" and "theyre a bunch of losers." Lead singer, Mr Jack Mc-Bad was reported as saying "We'll shut them all up as soon as our song kicks-off, this will be the biggest thing since The Pistols sang to the Queen!!"

And so it was, the crowd were subjected to the most hidious noise ever created anywhere in the world. It was as if half of them had stood on each others toes whilst the others had just been punced in the stomach! I witnessed with my own eyes grown men hiding under the tables; women weeping into their hands; whilst I myself considered throwing myself of the nearby bridge! Pain, real pain to the ears, an indescribable feeling that I hope no one ever has to experience again..EVER !!

Well, silence the critics they did!! Most of them are now deaf anyway and are certainly speechless. If theres a lesson to learned here then it has to be... don't go to a club Christmas party and stay sober (I did).

Dead or Alive.....you decide !